Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Potential

I have been pondering over something the last week or so. A few weeks ago I asked Vai to read me a book. I picked out a book that I thought he might have a little trouble with but wanted him to work on his reading and figured I could help him with what ever words he couldn't read. He is only in the first grate and is just learning how to read. As he read this book to me he knew every word. I was shocked that my first grader could read words like museum. I didn't have to help him at all. I was very impressed with the reading program the school uses thinking that I could never read that well when I was in first grade. Then we went to Vai's parent/teacher conference, we were told that he is doing well in everything and is at the top of his class. Then the teacher explained that Vai's reading lever has exceeded that of the other students. The scale they use wants first graders scoring a 14 by the end of the school year. Vai had already scored a 17 and it was only the 2 month of school. He is reading way beyond his grade level.

I tell this story not to brag about my brilliant child (well maybe a little bit)! But mostly because as we walked out of that conference I was so excited and had this great desire to further his reading skills. I am not an avid reader, I wish I was. I struggled to get through my reading assignments in college. If I do read for pleasure it is because I have been sucked into a book that I can't put down and my entire life is put on hold until I finish my book. So needless to say I don't read for pleasure too often. However, I want things to be different for my son. I want to take this advanced reading skill and nourish it so that he will love to read. To me having a great reading ability is very key to success in life.

Then it got me thinking.. Did my parents ever have conferences like this when I was a child? Were they told that my skills were past the benchmark and I was considered advanced? Did I have a great potential as a child and now I am not living up to it? I know I have many talents and skills but am I being the best self I can? Am I living up to my potential?

This conference with Vai's teacher has really made me reflect on my life and how I am nourishing my abilities and growing myself. Just as much as I want Vai to succeed I should want the same thing for myself. Then Tata showed me a news report that said "Mommy's need time outs too" It was about a new book that talks about the mother' s guilt for taking any time for herself. So again this begs the question; "What can I be doing to live up my potential?"

As I try to balance all the demands of my life I do hope that I will be working on my self to develop the best self I can.