Friday, January 30, 2009

Appreciating the role of motherhood more

Over the past few months, my lovely wife has mentioned and shown me her frustrations with having to deal with our children on a daily basis while I'm out at work. Being a typical man, most of my response back to her cry for help was "you're not patient enough" or "it's not that hard". Well, tonight I got to taste only 3 HOURS of what my superwoman goes through everyday.
After she left for her meeting at 7 p.m. I fed our kids dinner. After asking them about 20 times to get in the shower, I finally had to kick it into gear and grab them all by the hands and literally throw them into the shower. Now that was only the begining. Meanwhile,they were all excited because I told them that we were going to go on an ice-cream date. The boys got dressed first, and while brading Girly's hair (and I'm pretty good at it incase you're wondering:))I hear the Clown Boy screaming bloody murder. "What's wrong?" was my question. Quietly, I hear Vai saying, "Are you O.K.?" I knew right away that he had done something that he shouldn't have. The Clown comes in the room crying and said that Vai had placed a pillow over his face. As soon as I heard the words "pillow over my face", I flipped. Cucthing....ding....ding...ding..."Just be patient". Yeah right. I swarted Vai and he cried and while crying I continued to yell at him about how he could have choked and suffocated his brother. I threatened Vai that I was going to have him stay home while I took the other two for our date. Like I was really going to do that. Still fuming, I stopped and thought,"WOW. Reality check. I've only been with them for about an hour and I'm flipping over what could have been horseplay between two boys".
So we went to Baskin Robins and each got our cones of ice-cream. Before we got out of the car, as always, I set the rules about how we need to behave when we're in public or somebody's place. They all acknowledged me and my counsel with their sweet innocence. I got the Clown out and told him to go stand on the side walk away from traffic. I mentioned the same instructions to the older two, but as soon as Vai got out, he took off running the opposite direction of where were supposed to go. "What the heck are you doing, and where in the freak are you going", I yelled at him. I was about ready to put them all back in the van and go put them to sleep. "Be patient, it's not that hard". What the HELL was I saying to my wife? On the drive home, I was 156% more than ready to have my kids go to sleep. In my mind I was thingking, "forget about brushing teeth, before I kill one of them". As soon as we pulled into the drive way, I took a deep breath and gave my kids one more counsel. "Let's go inside, brush teeth, read a story, say prayers and go to bed. O.K.?" Right after I said that, I turned around only to see Girly raising her clanched fist up high and socking Vai on the chest. He screamed for about two seconds and returned the favor. She screamed, and returned it once more. Once again, I flipped and this is only my second hour with them. Needless to say, there was no brushing of teeth, or stories or prayers. If anyone needs to say a prayer, it is I.
I need to pray for forgiveness and for appreciation and sincere understanding of what my wife and millions of other women go through on a daily basis, with realtions to family life with children. I feel very bad because I only had them for two hours and I was ready to be a headliner in Law and Order. "Husband snaps and kills children" or something. But more importantly, I feel very humbled for not recognizing more the efforts of my wife with our kids. It is not an easy calling. I know that we men have to go and earn money for our families bread, but what is happening in the households everyday with the women and raising of children is more important than that money being earned. With this lesson tonight, I pray that I will be more appreciative of my wife and her dealings with my our kids on a daily basis and maybe even start using some of my lame advices on myself. "You're not being patient Tata. You're not trying hard enough".


HollySomm said...

Haha, oh Tata! How I miss those crazy munchkins. I'm impressed that you didn't tie them to the hood on the way home from Baskin Robbins. Haha. You are a great dad, Tata. Amy knows it, girly and the boys know it. And I know you know it. You can do it. I believe in you! And Amy is an amazing mom. She's got a whole lot of just astounds me! I love you guys!

Janell said...

What a great post. I need Mark to read this one now! Just keep re-reading it every time Amy has anything to say about the kiddos!

winspears said...

LOVE IT! Glad to see that my house is just like yours...and that when you see a headline that reads..."Mormon mother ties her four boys to the roof of her van" totally won't judge me...and may even come to my defense! :)

can't wait to see you guys this month!

Fobert Family said...

Hey, so great to see a guy adding to the blog...very impressive. And totally hilarious! I can completely relate! (Have you read my crazy day post? It was in December I think...) Congrats on the new addition, 4 is crazy but fun. Our 4th was a little oops too, but oh what a cute little oops he is! Best wishes...your family is beautiful!

Paul Rama said...

This post rocks! Let me ask you that question one more time Tata--What the hell were you thinking? :) It takes a great dad to write such a great acknowledgment.